parenting using compromises effectively

When the Popular Compromise Can Backfire and What To Do Instead

When parents feel like they are constantly butting heads with their child, we often talk about using parenting tools that help our kids feel like we’re on their team. One popular way is to collaborate with our kids using a compromise. We’ve told our kids repeatedly, “When we tell you to do something, you may […]

Simple Pleasures…Even When Life’s Hard

Another mom asked me last week how I could possibly have any margin for helping other moms when I’m living in the same chaos. Good question. I’ve been thinking about it ever since she asked. On a practical level, I have the best husband E.V.E.R. who is doing a lot of the practical things such […]

special needs, adoption, foster care, thanksgiving

When Giving Real Thanks Is Hard

When you’re raising a child with extremely challenging behaviors, it can be hard to face a holiday all about giving thanks. Sure, we can all find small gratitudes each day. We have food to eat. We only called the police once last week.  The sun came out today. But what about deep gratitude for the […]

punishments aren't working

How To Use Natural Consequences Instead of Pointless Punishment

One of the biggest misnomers for parents when they first encounter trust-based or connected parenting is that it seems like there are no consequences. It feels too permissive. This is actually the reason I tossed the Connected Child aside after reading it pre-placement. Honestly? It made me want to gag. Then we attempted to parent […]