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Comments on: {#17} Birthparents https://www.thecorkboardonline.com/2011/03/17-birthparents/ Fri, 15 Apr 2011 20:56:36 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.8 By: Julia https://www.thecorkboardonline.com/2011/03/17-birthparents/#comment-730 Fri, 15 Apr 2011 20:56:36 +0000 http://www.thecorkums.com/?p=2004#comment-730 I adopted my daughter through domestic private adoption when she was 16 mos old. We have an open relationship with her birthparents, which all parties are happy about. It had been difficult at times to know that they miss her and to understand how they grieved when she came home with me. It would be easier to not think much about that, but on the other hand I feel the experience stretched me and helped me grow emotionally.

Open relationship doesn't mean we are in touch constantly but if we are at the zoo and and I take a cute photo I send it on right in that moment. The birthmom on ocassion will send a text to say she is thinking of us. We tend to call the birthfather on Sat or Sun morning because that is when my daughter might be thinking of him.

]]> By: misslissa https://www.thecorkboardonline.com/2011/03/17-birthparents/#comment-729 Sun, 20 Mar 2011 00:41:14 +0000 http://www.thecorkums.com/?p=2004#comment-729 You're right. Most of my thoughts apply to infant or toddler adoption.

]]> By: Alainabeth2030 https://www.thecorkboardonline.com/2011/03/17-birthparents/#comment-728 Sun, 20 Mar 2011 00:01:08 +0000 http://www.thecorkums.com/?p=2004#comment-728 While I agree with much of your post regarding infant adoption, I think the situation is VERY different in older-child or foster adoption. Attachment with older adopted kids can be a full time job, and even a birthfamily that would be respectful of their birthchild's forever family can be a real stumbling block to healthy attachment. And, unfortunately, I don't know of any birthfamilies whose parental rights have been terminated who are remotely appropriate in their interactions with their no-longer-legally-related children, and I know of many who are actively harmful to the forever-parent/adopted child bond. I know you offered that important caveat about “harm,” but I think for foster-adopted children it is much more complex. Just food for thought.

]]> By: misslissa https://www.thecorkboardonline.com/2011/03/17-birthparents/#comment-727 Sat, 19 Mar 2011 23:25:10 +0000 http://www.thecorkums.com/?p=2004#comment-727 Thanks!

]]> By: Joyful Mama/ Cedar https://www.thecorkboardonline.com/2011/03/17-birthparents/#comment-726 Sat, 19 Mar 2011 23:23:50 +0000 http://www.thecorkums.com/?p=2004#comment-726 This post by a birth mother is a good thing to read if one is trying to grow in compassion towards/learn more about how a birth mother might feel.

http://thechroniclesofmunchkin…

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