Sandi,
Great points. Do you have a term you use instead?

While I agree that all of these causes of developmental trauma, I also have heard some criticism for the term “hard places” from various members of the adoption triad in transracial families, and I am also not sure I am comfortable with this TBRI term because it can so easily be misinterpreted.

I think we need to be really careful to use terms that do not perpetuate stereotypes of birth families who happen also to be POC, or assume that a birth family is always the “hard place” — in fact, number 7 “system effects” points out the fact that adoption itself is a CAUSE of trauma, so the “hard place” is quite often the new, adoptive home. I understand that Dr. Purvis’s term “hard places” was meant to signify traumatic experiences, not the fact that some of our kids happen to be KOC or come from marginalized countries and cultures. However, there are some that assume that the literal PLACE (country or birth family) my child is from is a “hard place” and that somehow being in the US and with my family is a “better place.” Adoptive families certainly aren’t perfect, and our country has lots of its own problems, so we can’t assume that we are always “better” than the “place” (family or country) our kids originally came from.

Again, I totally understand that’s not what this was meant to address, but the reality is that there is a lot of “adoptive parents as white saviors” mentality out there in some circles, and white parents like myself need to acknowledge it and be super careful about birth family/country assumptions. Melissa – would love to know your thoughts on this as a mom and POC adoptee in a transracial family! 🙂