The family that shoots together stays together? We’ve been at ranges, to 3D shoots, in the backyard, and even to archery golf. Who knew that was a thing?

There is something thrilling about hitting your target!

Mia has even been competing all over the region.

What’s new with you?

Since I’m always so behind in publishing photographic evidence of our life, I thought this would be an apropos time to flashback to last year’s recital.

It’s so convenient having a makeup artist auntie who lives with you…especially when your mom didn’t even wear makeup on her wedding day.

Tada!

I was looking for a photo I took this fall when I came to the realization that I have a ton of unedited photos of life and for intended blog posts hanging out on my SD card and hard drive. The paradox of blogging is that when there’s a lot going on in life to blog about, there’s also no time to blog.

However, without further ado, here’s the latest installment of Foto Flashback Friday.

A couple months ago, Patrick and Mia finally joined PJ and me as Black Belts.

Their demonstration of skills test started with kicking drills. I spent a lot of time trying to get a photo where they looked in sync.

Then there was forms. Those don’t make great photos, so I bring you breaking.

Yelling is an imperative part of technique and also practical martial arts practice. Clearly, Patrick has this part down. He could probably get a second degree belt just for his yelling.

Sparring is my least favorite, and, now, Patrick’s least favorite since it usually involves getting injured.

They did a lot of rounds, eventually sparring everyone in the group and even doing some 2-on-1 rounds.

I wouldn’t mess with Mia. I know she seems sweet and docile when she’s sitting in her room crafting, but she definitely held her own against these two boys.

My theory is that the 4 weeks of non-stop, 2 hour training sessions leading up to the formal demo are the real test because Master Chung already has new do-boks and belts to present right after the final demonstration.

It was kind of a whim when I suggested 5 years ago that we should try out Tae Kwon Do as a family. Never imagined we would add 3 new kids to our membership and actually have some of us make it to Black Belt. The journey has not been without challenges and road blocks (our original goal was 3 years to Black Belt), but I’m super thankful for our TKD family.

These are some photos from 2 summers ago.

I struggled with what to write when these pictures came up in my flashback (a.k.a. never got around to being edited and shared) file. The emotions evoked when viewing these photos are hard to accept and raw. Instead of affection, I feel resentment. Instead of joy, I feel immense sadness. Friends, our family is battle weary and tired.

Grace currently isn’t living with us. Many have sympathized with what a hard decision that must have been. Can I be completely honest without being judged? It’s had hard moments, but generally we are relieved to have a break from the constant barrage of aggressive, maladaptive behaviors. Trauma was once defined to me as the consistent feeling of not being able to control a situation. By that definition, we all (including Grace) had been living in a persistent state of trauma for almost 3 years. We all (including Grace) need a breather. We can break the hypervigilance we were all living day in and day out by having Grace temporarily live in a safe place that’s not with us. In this arrangement, she will not need to be hypervigilant about how she’s being treated in relation to her siblings, AND her siblings will not need to be hypervigilant about whether or not they will be the target of her next tirade.

To be clear, we love Grace, are continuing to coordinate and participate in her care needs, have frequent contact with her, and are working with her therapist to make this a successful and healing respite. We recognize in our heads we are battling against trauma not a child and are begging our hearts to follow suit.

I debated on whether or not this was an appropriate post to share.
“Hi, my name is Melissa, and I’m an over-sharer.”

I decided it was important because I hear from too many families that they were convinced they were alone in their hardness before chatting with me OR that they had no idea that adoption could be this hard–even after the dozens of hours of required agency training. Part of stewarding our childrens’ stories well is protecting what is theirs. However, part of stewarding our family’s story well is that it be shared so that our suffering may not be in vain because there’s a chance that it could help another family not feel alone or be better prepared before bringing trauma kids into their home.

Back to the lighter, regularly (or not-so-regularly)-scheduled  Foto Flashback Friday next time.

Last fall, the Tall Ships were back in the Baltimore Harbor for the 200th Anniversary of the writing of the Star Spangled Banner.

We spent multiple days trying to see the Blue Angels practicing AND see the sailors dancing amongst the sails. #FAIL on both accounts. Of course, Patrick would just happen to look out his window and see a Blue Angel flying by minutes after we had left the city…BOTH DAYS.

On the plus side, we got photos with the fakest smiles ever. CHEESE!

Last spring, we were welcoming a friend home from Ethiopia and decided to swing by the Lincoln Memorial. Grace has an obsession with Abe, so this trip was mostly for her.

It’s not every day you get to fist pump Abraham Lincoln.

Or kiss him on the cheek.

The first summer the big kids were home (2013), we let them each plant one of our raised beds.

Both big girls grew sweet potatoes (which if you’re going to eat a carb, choose this one).

With 6 kids and 2 drivers, we obviously have to be selective to which extracurricular activities we commit. While saying, “no” to the kids can be hard (especially in today’s culture), it has forced everyone to really examine where their giftings, passions, and talents lie.

Last  year, Grace tried out hip hop. It turns out she enjoys running and working out on her own more.

Then, there’s this girl. Because she loves life and will try anything, it’s been hard to say “no” to things like ice skating and gymnastics. However, really, she lives for dancing and being on stage. God gifted her with uncanny flexibility and breath-taking grace.