I talk a lot about assuming a CAN’T instead of a WON’T with our kids. So let’s apply this to independent play.

Just like there are physical developmental stages that need to happen in a certain order…sitting up before standing, walking before running, etc.

The same thing is true for learning how to play. There are the steps to learning to play independently and interactively.

1. Attunement

This syncing of a child and caregiver’s brain is the foundation for attachment, bonding, emotional regulation, and felt safety.

2. Body and Movement Play

Vestibular and proprioceptive activities are key for brain development. Rhythmic movement is also crucial.

3. Object Play

Manipulating objects is crucial for problem-solving later in life. This also involves constructive play like Legos.

[bctt tweet=”Manipulating objects is crucial for problem-solving later in life.” username=”corkboardblog”]

4. Imaginative Play

Imagination is a key to emotional resilience, creativity, and personal coping skills.

5. Social Play

This can include parallel play, cooperative play, rough-and-tumble play, celebratory and ritual play, storytelling and narrative play, or transformative-integrative and creative play.

Which stage do you think your child needs a booster in?

For more details on these concepts, watch the video below.

Enter this week’s main favorite thing.

NBC Sports Mobile App

It’s like having On Demand Olympics at your fingertips for whenever you have a hot second to steal away for a little self-indulgence. I’ve been watching while peeing and eating…not at the same time, obviously. I think I actually like it better than watching the TV because I can choose exactly what I want to watch…even entire events from previous days or just recaps of all the important stuff I missed. Of course, you can also watch a Live Stream…just like TV, but you can carry it with you while you run around the house and make lunch, switch laundry, and drill memory work.

Olympics Sports Profile Channel

I’m not sure if this is really even a real separate thing, but it’s a set of videos you can stream from inside the NBC Sports Mobile App. It’s all the human interest stories and random factoids of the Olympics. I could not put it down last weekend, and cried more tears on Saturday that I have for all of This is Us combined. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I’ve really only started crying since Jack died. Fortunately, the Profile Channel seems to loop the same videos occasionally, so I felt like I could step away occasionally to watch the actual games.

Flip Flops

This has little to do with the Olympics, but I did enjoy watching skiing yesterday while wearing flip flops. As much as I love the winter games, I really love spring. We’ll just ignore the fact that there’s a 100% chance of getting snow tomorrow. #thisismidatlanticweather

What is your favorite Winter Olympic Sport?

To give summer an official send off, I thought it would be fun to do a little contest and giveaway.

We marked a lot of our summer fun with family selfies. I’m going to post them in no particular order. To enter the giveaway, post where you think we were. For each photo you guess correctly, you’ll get one entry. (Sorry, folks on our In Real Life FB page aren’t eligible.)

Prize: Intro Essential Oil Trio (5ml each of lavender, lemon, and peppermint) and 101 ways to use them.

Entry deadline: Friday, September 23.

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Best wishes.

#firsttimebloggingfromanipad

The beginning of a new year seems like an apropos time to reveal some of our current life hacks. None of the links are affiliate. I have no motivation for sharing other than, well, wanting to.

1. Our local YMCA membership. While most may be joining in January to support fitness and weight loss goals, we use our local Y for showers and free babysitting. With 8 people all needing showers after tae kwon do and only one shower at home, it seemed well worth it to pay $80 a month for the ability to all take hot showers at one time. Plus they provide 2 hours of free babysitting a day and soap for our showers! The pool and fitness equipment are a bonus.
2. Audiobooks. Want to know a secret? I hate reading out loud to my kids. I want them to be read to, but I hate doing it. Besides, I fall asleep. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. While reading. No matter what time it is. Enter audiobooks. We listen to them in the car. It’s a win-win. The kids are so captivated that they are quiet, and we’ve taken in dozens of great books. We pretty much only listen to ones that our library stocks, so this hack doesn’t even cost money.
   [bctt tweet=”Want to know a secret? I hate reading out loud to my kids. Check out this #lifehack.”]
3. My TO DO email address. Ever get an email to your phone while you’re out and about and want to remember to respond when you have more time and a real keyboard? Ever need to send yourself an important reminder? I have a separate email account that no one has that I ONLY check at HOME at MY DESK. I forward important emails, websites, and Facebook posts I want to remember for later and notes to myself. I have a daily Todoist task that reminds me to check that special email at the end of the day to make sure I follow up.
4. Disposable email addresses. Do you hate when you have to enter an email just to read a blog article? Or ever want to join a free site but don’t want to reveal your real email address for fear of spam monsters? Check out mailinator.com. It’s a public, disposable email. The inboxes are not password protected so don’t have sensitive information sent to one. We use them to sign up for some homeschool things like Xtramath and ReadTheory.

What are your favorite life hacks?

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Fast forward 4 years. She is the most focused and motivated person in the house. She loves reading. She still wouldn’t call herself a math person, but she rocks it and is basically teaching herself. She gets up every morning while the house is still quiet and starts her work. Last year, when I was pretty much M.I.A. (no pun intended) as a mother (let alone teacher) because of our trauma drama, she moved through her checklist faithfully each week and bloomed into quite the academic.

We use IEW for our writing curriculum. It really works for my engineering brain because it’s systematic and structured. It really worked for PJ, who hates writing, and now I know it works for our creative, right-brained Mia. We don’t do writing at our house until about 9, so this is only Mia’s second year writing anything. A couple weeks ago, during a creative writing unit, she whipped out this short story that I love and wanted to share with you. It was a completely independent effort with me just providing some basic grammar editing.

Without further ado…

The Christmas Gift

One November morning, on Zumba Street, a girl, named Maisie, was sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast. Maisie had short, dark brown, lovely hair, and sweet, brown eyes. Her mother, Grace, was making her a special breakfast because the night before she and her soccer team won the championship. Maisie was the best soccer player on her team, but she hated it. Maisie’s parents thought she loved soccer, but they thought wrong. Instead of soccer, Maisie loved to paint. “Eat up Maisie because after breakfast you are visiting Aunt Rose at her house, “announced Maisie’s mother. After Maisie heard this she did start eating faster because she loved Aunt Rose. Maisie’s aunt, who was really magnificent at painting, might give her some advice. After she ate her breakfast, she walked into the car and fastened her seatbelt.

Maisie and her mother finally arrived at Aunt Rose’s. When Maisie walked into the house, she spotted her aunt sitting in the living room.

“Have a wonderful time.” Remarked Maisie’s mother. “Bye mom.” Mumbled Maisie in return. After her mom left, Maisie turned to her aunt in the living room. “Why hello Maisie. Now what do you want to talk about?” asked Aunt Rose.

“Well I need advice on something. Everyone thinks I like soccer, but I hate it. Instead of playing soccer next year again, I want to take painting lessons. But the thing is I’m too scared to tell everyone. I mean what if everyone laughs at the idea? ” exclaimed Maisie.

“So you need advice on if you want to tell everyone about painting, or suck it up and play soccer next year?” asked Aunt Rose.

“I guess that’s what I want,” softly whispered Maisie

“Maisie, I really don’t think that anyone would make fun of that idea. It’s good to try something new. However if you want, I will pay for the art lessons for Christmas. If I do you have to tell your parents about the painting.” decided Aunt Rose. Maisie, who considered this, thought it was a lovely idea. Maisie was so proud to have such an awesome aunt.

That night at dinner Maisie mumbled the whole story to her parents frightfully. Her parents who, were confused at first, understood more as she talk. Weeks passed and then finally Christmas came. She finally possessed what she wanted so she was happy. It was the most terrific Christmas gift she had ever received.

Moral: A little encouragement goes a long way.

“What should we do for Mom’s birthday?”

“She doesn’t want us to do anything, but we should. It IS 60 after all.”

“We could surprise her after church. Have a couple of her friends here.”

Before we knew it, there was a food and cake plan, a decorating committee (it’s pretty easy to create committees in a household of 12), and a guest list.

It was the best kept secret. Look at her face!

Mom cultivates long, deep friendships. She was surrounded by the people she loves most–most of whom she’s known for longer than I’ve been alive.

Apparently Dad (who thinks he’s still 12), stuck this note on her back on their way to church. In true Mom-fashion, she was clueless. She couldn’t figure out why folks she’d never met were giving her happy birthday greetings at church all morning.

My sister is the master cake orderer in the house. She spent hours trying to find just the right thing to put on the cake. Don’t you just love it?!?

And the party wouldn’t be complete without a group photo!

While I love the mild weather and beautiful warm colors of fall, I would rather skip the “ber” months—September, October, November, December—all together.

Let’s start with the lack of sunlight. I’m one of those seasonal affective people who needs the sun to be shining in order for me to feel like being productive. I’ve played with vitamin D supplements and UV lamps, but they are poor substitutes for a beautiful, sunny day.

Then, when I’m at my lowest, there is a major holiday (aka. schedule disrupter during which I’m supposed to pull off extra Pinterest-magic) in e.v.e.r.y. s.i.n.g.l.e. “ber” month.

September rolls in with Back-to-School. I admit this may feel like a stretch to some and certainly doesn’t apply to everyone, but let me tell you how it is from my life stage. First, it’s a major transition. For families with trauma kids, federal law should mandate extra paid FMLA during seasonal transitions. Trauma kids do NOT transition well. From extra rages to psychosomatic illnesses, managing a transitioning trauma child is like having an extra 20 hour a week job. Meanwhile, I’m also usually scrambling together last minute curriculum plans for our homeschooled children as innumerable social media posts of other family’s groomed and coordinated children holding “First day of Xth Grade” signs mock me.

As we’re fighting to find our school rhythm, Halloween costume conversations become something I can’t push off any more. I didn’t grow up celebrating Halloween (that’s a post for another time), and I really struggle to get excited about spending money on costumes my kids wear once only in order to bring bucket loads of candy into my house that I don’t want and one of them can’t even eat. Not to mention that I have to walk them around in the “ber” cold to get this unwanted candy. Sorry, October, I could really do without your holiday.

Just as everyone is coming down from their sugar high, it’s Thanksgiving. This is probably a good place to explain that trauma kids regulate (or dysregulate) on external stimuli. They usually do not have the capability to regulate off of internal mechanisms so they are victim to whatever is going on around them. Holidays produce elevated emotions (some positive like anticipation and some negative like stress). Trauma kids’ bodies translate it all as stress and it puts them at high alert which makes them living hell to live with on a good day. Throw in holiday travel of which Thanksgiving weekend is the worst because everyone leaves on Wednesday night and returns Sunday, and I could also skip November.

Oh, Christmas. How I want to love thee. After all, you are arguably the most important holiday of my faith. But why must you be so materialistic? If I hear another list of things my kids “need,” I am going to scream! My top love language is debatable but everyone agrees that it is NOT gifts.  Therefore, I struggle to buy gifts just to buy gifts, but finding the perfect gift for everyone takes lots of time that I don’t have since I’m also supposed to be decorating, baking, and sending cards. Decorating. I love the idea of a tree. I love the piney smell and the glow of the lights. It’s the addition of a large shedding object into an already overcrowded house and the fight of who is going to put which ornaments on the tree where that makes me want to hibernate until spring. Dealing with trauma kids and my own issues with having to disrupt our routine, does not leave me with enough margin or patience to fit in holiday extras. Here’s the icing on the cake: I get questioned all month by my kiddos about why we don’t xyz like all the other families. I don’t even need Facebook or Pinterest to rub it in my face. #mommyfailure.

We do have a couple simple traditions I love like our prayer chain and the sibling gift exchange. My 12-year-old, just reminded me yesterday that we missed the start of prayer chain season, and my 10-year-old reminded me that we didn’t pick names for the sibling gift exchange over Thanksgiving like I promised. #doubleandtriplemommyfailure.

Excuse me while I go hole up with the pre-Marley Scrooge until Spring.

Buying products from a network marketing company usually makes me twitch. Even now that I work for a network marketing company, I still feel my guard go up around my Jamberry, Beach Body, Rodan + Fields, and friends.

I know that essential oils seem to be the new trendy thing to do, and there is a lot of chatter about how and where to go about buying them. I tell folks I share with that they need to do their research and feel great about what they’re buying and from whom they’re buying. I do not want to be selling to folks I convinced. I believe in the integrity of the product and company enough to have confidence that they will sell themselves.

Here’s why I’m glad I stumbled into this particular company and community:

1. Purity and Sustainability. By supporting and educating indigenous farmers, this company ensures that the oils are extracted from organically grown plants, and that the plants will be around for generations to come—never harvested in a way to negatively impact the biome. Our venture in coffee opened our eyes to the ways businesses here in the states can best support economies in developing countries. I was thrilled to find out my oil company had similar practices. Third party testing certifies that the there are no adulterations to, or contaminants or impurities in the oils.




2. Loyalty and Rewards. Everyone is looking for a great deal. At first glance, I was convinced I could get oils for less money somewhere else. Then I understood how to work the system. I have about $1000 of products I’ve been rewarded for free. When it’s all said and done, I pay about $10 for a bottle of lemon and get a $3 rebate the next month. I also get my shipping paid back in free product. Honestly, my couponing-thrifting-dealfinding funny bone has been tickled.




3. Support and Community. One of the most common reasons I find that folks are hesitant about starting with essential oils is that they’re intimidated. The beauty of oils is their incredible versatility, but it can also be overwhelming to know where to start with a bottle of lavender if you know it can be used dozens of ways. We are not just a company that sells oils, we are a community. We hold classes, chat on FB groups, and receive quarterly magazines. Additionally, you’re always in contact with someone further down the road than you who can answer your questions.

If you would like more information about joining my wellness and oil-loving community, would like to get some free custom samples to try, or would just like to know which company I chose,* please contact me.

*I would share it here but federal guidelines won’t allow it.

Homeschooling can feel all-consuming which makes keeping your home tidy feel like an additional chore. If you have a lot of responsibilities and very little time to do them, take a look at these house routines which can help you and your kids. Here are some tested and proven tactics which are suitable for homeschool families. Try them to help integrate tidying and cleaning into your homeschool routine rather than making it a separate set of tasks.

1. Clean as you go. Straighten up after every school subject. Teach your children to clean and tidy as they finish every subject. Make them free the needed space for the next subject and tidy up their work area. Insist that they gather all their belongings from the floor and room before they continue with every new lesson or prject. This is a great way to make them more organised and work in a clean and neat place.

2. Power of routine. Schedule your kids to clean at the same time every day. For instance, create a routine where they clean and tidy their rooms before breakfast and lunch. This is a very effective method which gives excellent results. If you prefer, motivate them by offering gifts for the ones who do the work in the fastest and most effective way. Stick with positive reinforcement and avoid a chore battleground.

3. Get organized. You can make a chart with the domestic chores which need to be done. Write the names of each of your kids, the time and the day of the week in this chart. Creating a schedule for your whole day and week is a great way to make your kids more organized and responsible. Depending on the age of your kids you can assign them different tasks to do. Let them help you with shopping, washing of the dishes, folding of the clothes and other work. They will become more involved in the house activities and feel part of the family. You can assign more difficult tasks to your kids if you see that they cope with the easier ones well. It’s a great way to reduce your work and make your kids more independent.

4. Make it fun. If you have young kids you can make the cleaning chores more fun by turning them into games. Play music dance music and combine the pleasant with the useful. Focus on the activities which they do well encouraging them to continue the same way. Your positive attitude is very important in your relationship with your children.

5. Farm it out. If you struggle coping with your teaching, household and cleaning tasks, you can solve the problem by hiring a housekeeper. You may even be able to hire an older homeschool student if you’re on a tighter budget. Don’t underestimate this option as a way to ensure the cleanliness and tidiness of your home. Your sanity may be worth the extra money!

About the Author

Her life is very dynamic and she really appreciates the time she spends with her family.