[bctt tweet=”When our kids are tired, dehydrated, or not getting the nutrition they need, their brains won’t have the fuel they need to make good decisions.” username=”corkboardblog”]

The tricky thing about helping our kids get the proper nutrition is that we can find ourselves in a control battle. After all, you can’t force your child to eat what you want them to.

Here are a couple of tried and true ways you can prioritize nutrition without creating control battles:

Get Sneaky

Take what your child is already eating and boost the nutrition. Does anybody remember the Sneaky Chef? If they’ll only eat Spaghettios, add a tablespoon of carrot baby food into the can before serving. When you make brownies, you can add purees of blueberries, spinach, and/or black beans. This one can kinda be gross, but puree free-range chicken livers or grass-fed beef livers. Freeze in ice cube trays and pop a cube or two into the pan whenever you’re cooking ground meat for tacos or meat sauce. Protein powders hide well in milkshakes and smoothies. And fiber powders hide well in oatmeal, cookies, and pancakes.

Give Choices and Shared Control

It seems counterintuitive, but your child will be more likely to try new things if you flex some of your mealtime rules. Ellen Satter outlines a suggested division of responsibilities on her website. One parent reported, “My son is cautious in all things, and offering him new foods wasn’t much fun at first. If I am careful not to push him, however, I have found he ever so slowly pushes himself along to learn to like new foods. He is so proud when he tries something new!”

Supplement

Even if your child ate the recommended food pyramid at every meal, they’d still benefit from a whole-food supplement. Current soil conditions and modern eating habits make it almost impossible to get all the micronutrients needed just through food. There are a lot of misconceptions out there about supplements and a lot of contradicting advice about what’s good for our kids, and us.

One of the reasons I fell in love with essential oils was for their versatility. I’ve never had buyers remorse over an oil. There are just too many possibilities! (I can’t say that about any of the other natural remedies I’ve bought for my kids.)

How are you using your essential oils this spring?

[bctt tweet=”Check out these 10 ways to use your essential oils this spring! #essentialoils” username=”corkboardblog”]

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

+This post contains affiliate links.

Everybody experiences stress from time to time. But adoptive and foster families experience unique challenges and stressors. There are also a lot of BIG feelings flying around our houses. While emotions are a natural response to the world around us, they need to be handled and addressed appropriately in order to maintain good mental health. There is a wide variety of essential oils to choose from when it comes managing emotions.

[bctt tweet=”#Essentialoils can help restore your emotional balance and improve your overall attitude in any situation” #momhacks username=”corkboardblog”]

What are essential oils?

They are naturally occurring, volatile aromatic compounds which are found in the seeds, bark, stems, roots, flowers, and other parts of plants. Essential oils give plants their distinctive smells, protect plants, and play a role in plant pollination. In addition to their intrinsic benefits to plants and their beautiful fragrance, essential oils have long been used for food preparation, beauty treatment, and health-care practices.

How do I use them?

Aromatically

Essential oils are quickly absorbed by the smell receptors, which have a direct link to the limbic system. The limbic system is part of the brain that supports emotions, behavior, and memory.

Topically

Topical application is a very effective method for applying essential oils because they penetrate the skin. They can be used in therapeutic touch techniques that promote trust.

Internally

When ingested, essential oils directly enter the bloodstream via the gastrointestinal tract, where they are transported throughout the rest of the body. Use this method sparingly and with caution.

Hack #1: Use them on yourself first

When I first heard of using essential oils for mood and emotions management for kids from hard places, I set out to try as many oils on my kids as possible. I was looking for that magic fix. Quite frankly, I didn’t care if they were on board.

But, we can only control ourselves.

And while that seems anti-climactic, research on mirror neurons tell us that if we’re regulated, our kids will be too.

Hack #2: Less more often

Essential oils are powerful ways to influence biological processes. Think of an oil experience as a mini-therapy session.

A couple minutes of aromatherapy every hour is more effective than a prolonged experience once or twice a day.

For the rest of the hacks, download the free e-book!

[bctt tweet=”Sometimes anxiety in kids comes out in behaviors that may look disrespectful without a closer look.” username=”corkboardblog”]

Have you ever had a child giggle or laugh hysterically while you were trying to be stern? Makes your blood boil, right?

Maybe your child never stops moving. If he’s not running around the room, he’s drumming, tapping, or humming.

Have you ever seen a child get super silly or use a silly or high-pitched voice?

What about the kid who asks incessant questions? Or never shuts up.

Do you have a child who seems like a hypochondriac? Unending stomaches and headaches?

Maybe it’s a “bad” habit like biting her nails or sucking his thumb?

All of these behaviors, and more, are ways that anxiety builds up in our kids and then leaks out.

Once we recognize our child’s anxiety, we can be proactive about giving appropriate ways to relieve the build-up of anxiety. Think of these things as releasing a little anxiety at a time like the valve on your pressure cooker so that they don’t blow up!

Warm Water

Baths or showers can be very calming. For a while, we scheduled hour-long “therapy baths” into our son’s schedule that served as a respite for us (he was 6 so able to play without constant, direct supervision) and a calming tool for him–WIN! WIN! We use Epsom salt and essential oils, but they’re not necessary. If you have access to a therapy pool, all the better. Sometimes swimming (even if the water isn’t warm) does the trick, too. 

Extended Exhales

This is one of the easiest ways to regulate excitatory neurotransmitters…no equipment needed. Some kids need help learning how to make their body do this. If you’re using the bath as a tool, try blowing bubbles in the bathtub or with a straw into a cup of water. Challenge your child to see how long he can blow without taking a breath. If we’re out and about, I’ll often try to get our son to try to blow me as far away from him as possible with one breath.

Essential Oils

Scents are the quickest way to impact the Limbic System in the brain. “Essential oils in the floral category are typically composed of monoterpene alcohols, which hold calming properties. Tree, herb, and grass oils are known to promote grounding, soothing emotions and feelings of renewal, as they primarily include sesquiterpenes, esters, and oxides.” [2] Keep a calming blend on hand for quick sniffs throughout the day and as needed. For more on using essential oils to calm anxious feelings, click here.

Nutrition

The majority of serotonin (the happy chemical) is produced in the gut. The gut also has more nerve cells than your spinal cord and sends more messages to the brain than it receives. What we eat matters when it comes to mood stability.  Rather than jump on a bandwagon, start with a food journal. Document what goes in food-wise, and what comes out behaviorally. Try eliminating foods with artificial anything or try a week with just whole, unprocessed foods. Many individuals with trauma have compromised digestive systems which is why our kids may be more sensitive to foods and nutrition.

Exercise

We could all probably benefit from the serotonin released during exercise. Whether your child shows signs of depression or hyperactivity, exercise is the universal “fix.” If your child suffers from sensory issues, exercise can have a double benefit. Keep track of which types of movement seem to excite versus calm your child and use them appropriately.

Rather than seeing these as quick-fixes, remember they are the most effective if you incorporate them frequently in your routine. If your child is really struggling, you may want to break for some of these as often as every 2 hours.

Do you have a simple way that you use to decrease anxiety in your family?

References

[1] https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/anxiety

[2] https://media.doterra.com/us/en/brochures/emotional-aromatherapy.pdf

I’ve also heard that you all have extra essential oils laying around. Maybe you never opened your box or you bought some BOGOs and promptly forgot why.

Never fear! I’m here to help you get the most value out of your investment.

No matter which oils you have collecting dust in a box, you can pair them with some simple ingredients for useful gifts for everyone on your list!

Recipes for citrus and mint essential oils

Room Spray

1. Combine water and essential oil in an 8-ounce glass spray bottle or continuous mist sprayer.
   Tip: Use more or less essential oil to control the strength of the aroma.
2. Shake before each use.

Sugar Scrub

Instructions

1. Combine sugar and Fractionated Coconut Oil in bowl.
2. Divide mixture equally into two bowls.
3. In one bowl, add red skin safe food coloring.
4. Layer red and white scrub to create a ‘candy cane’ effect.

Recipe for floral essential oils

Bath Salt Ornaments

Instructions

1. Mix desired amount of Epsom salt in bowl and add some skin-safe colorant if desired
2. Add dried herbs or flower petals to mixture for color and added aroma
3. Add the essential oils of your choice; mix well
4. Add the bath salt to plastic ornaments until full
5. Once full, put the top of ornament back on
6. When ready to use, add desired amount to warm bath

Recipes for herbaceous essential oils

Dipping Oil

Ingredients
¼ cup olive oil
1–3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar to taste
1 dried pepper (optional)
1–3 drops Oregano oil  (start with a toothpick and progress toward drops for desired flavor)

Instructions

1. Gently mix together all ingredients in a bowl large enough to dip into.
2. Dip favorite Italian style bread into bowl and enjoy.

Gift dipping oil with a loaf of no-knead bread. The dipping oil recipe calls for Oregano, but I’ve also used Rosemary, Basil, and Thyme.

What are your favorite DIY gifts? Comment below or post your ideas in our FB group.

I find that a lot of kids have trouble at bedtime due to some underlying anxiety. Usually, they can’t even name it, but the anxiety keeps the brain alert when it should be winding down for the night. This is unfortunate since sleep is such a crucial part of childhood development and successful days!

Building a connecting activity into your child’s bedtime routine can help her drift off to sleep without all the drama.

[bctt tweet=”Building a connecting activity into your child’s bedtime routine can go a long way in helping reduce the drama. #parenting” username=”corkboardblog”]

Diffuse a Calming Essential Oil

Let your child help select the oil each night. Giving shared control as often as possible can keep control battles from erupting at inopportune times. Start diffusing about an hour before bedtime.

Lavender, Calming Blend, Copaiba, Gounding Blend, and Roman Chamomile are all great choices for a child’s bedtime routine.

Sing a Connecting Song Together

As you sing, mirror your child’s facial expressions and body language. This helps increase attachment and decrease anxiety. Also, if you tend to be a distracted mom, like me, it helps you to stay present in the moment with your child. Add this to the beginning of the routine in case you get a little silly!

I Love You So Much by Barbara Milne is a great one. I also am a huge fan of Becky Bailey’s book I Love You Rituals. 

Read a Reassuring Book Together

Choose a book with a message of security, love, and attachment. I like books with an easy-to-read rhythm and rhyme. The predictability is soothing.

Our favorite book was God Made You Special by well-known biographer Eric Metaxas.

RECOMMENDATION: Sleep one part of empowering your kids for a successful summer. Download 5 Tips to Save Your Summer from The Adoption Connection for other practical ideas by clicking HERE.

Provide Relaxing Touch

Warm touch stimulates the release of the hormone oxytocin which enhances a sense of trust and attachment [1].

Try adding a hand massage to your nighttime routine or the poem and matching motions for “X Marks the Spot.”

X Marks the Spot

Draw on their back as you say each part (actions in parentheses). If your child is a sensory kid, try using firm pressure when doing the motions.

X marks the spot (draw X)
with a dot and a dot (dot left and then R side of upper back)
and a dash and a dash (draw dash left and then R lower back)
And a big question mark (draw on entire back)
There’s upsies (walk fingers up back along the spine)
And downsies (walk fingers down back along spine)
And downsies (same)
And upsies (same)
There’s pinchies and squeezies (massage shoulders)
And cool summer breezies (blow on back of neck)
O goes around (draw an O)
with a pound pound pound pound (lightly pound fist in all 4 quadrants of back)
There’s upsies (walk knuckles of R & L index fingers up either side of spine)
And downsies (walk knuckles down spine)
And downsies (same)
And upsies (same)
There’s stripies (draw stripes on back)
And wipies (wipe hand over whole back in circular motion)
And kitty cat swipies (cup both hands and gently swipe at back 4x)
An 8 makes a gate (draw large figure 8)
Run on in, don’t be late (draw 8)
To chop carrots, potatoes and even tomatoes (chop back with sides of hands)
There’s upsies (walk fingers up spine)
And downsies (walk down spine)
And downsies (same)
and upsies (same)
And loop the loops while stirring the soup (double doodle on either side of spine)
An 8 standing up (draw figure 8)
and an 8 laying down (draw infinity connected to the 8)
make a clover
Do it over and over and over (so keep drawing and 8 connected to infinity until done with rhyme)

Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation are great ways to decrease stress and increase regulation in the body. Research shows they are a promising treatment for sleep issues [2].

Try this guided meditation designed to help children fall asleep or search for additional resources on YouTube. There are also apps like Breathe Kids which have guided meditations for kids.

[bctt tweet=”Is bedtime a nightmare? Try these tried and true tricks tonight. #sleep #parenting” username=”corkboardblog”]

As you incorporate these ideas into your routine, be careful to not create control battles over them. Try introducing them into other, less stressful parts of your day first. Also, give them time to make a difference. Unfortunately, there are no magic fixes in parenthood!

If you’re always reading these blog posts and hanging out in Facebook groups and still wondering which tips are best for your unique family or you never have time to do all the research you’d like, coaching may be a great option for you. You can schedule when it fits in your schedule and walk away with tips and encouragement that are JUST FOR YOU. No wasted time. No more uncertainty.

CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE A FREE CALL!

You’re a good mom, doing good work, and I’m here for you!

What part of your child’s bedtime is saving your life right now?

Leave a comment with your questions and suggestions. I love hearing what’s going on in your houses!

*In full disclosure, there are some affiliate links in this article, but I would recommend them anyway.

Here are some reasons why we’re such fans of hand massage in our family:

1. Less triggering than affectionate touch. Warm touch stimulates the release of the hormone oxytocin which enhances a sense of trust and attachment [1] and can be a crucial component of healing. However, for kids with attachment challenges, physical affection like hugs can actually be triggering rather than healing. My favorite hand massage technique, the AromaTouch® Hand Technique, is just clinical enough to not trigger while still delivering all the benefits of touch. For especially fragile kids, you may need to avoid eye contact while giving the massage.
2. Rhythmic and predictable. The realm of the unknown, even not knowing what will be served for dinner, can be dysregulating for kids from hard places. I love that the AromaTouch® Hand Technique is repetitive and is given the same way each time. It also has a clear beginning and an end, and it’s not too long. Once they’ve experienced one, kids can rely on the predictability and feel confident because they know exactly what to expect.
3. Calms the limbic system. Essential oils are an important part of the AromaTouch® Hand Technique. Smells are processed by the limbic system which is also the part of the brain that regulates emotions.[2] Adding essential oils to your hand massage increases its effectiveness for calming.
4. Portable. Hands are easy to access in public places and, while essential oils are part of the magic, the AromaTouch® Hand Technique can be given without any oil making it the perfect way to connect quickly on the go. In full disclosure, I actually carry my favorite blend, Balance, with me at all times so we can always get the extra benefit of aromatherapy with the massage technique. I’ve even offered hand massages to strangers in public places who look like they need a little TLC. Most of these encounters happen on airplanes.
5. Beneficial for both caregiver and child. Research by Tiffany Field, director of the Touch Research Institute, demonstrates that the person giving a massage experiences as great a reduction in stress hormones as the person on the receiving end [3]. I don’t know about you, but I need any and all opportunities to reduce my own stress hormones.

Because I know that connection needs to happen before correction, I’m endeavoring to create a habit of utilizing this hand massage technique as a buffer before I correct a behavior. Will you help hold me accountable to that? Pretty please? Ty thanks you. Speaking of Ty, here’s a video we created a while back to demonstrate the AromaTouch® Hand Technique.

*In full disclosure, the link to Balance is an affiliate link for my doTERRA business. I may earn commissions if you purchase from doTERRA using that link.

A couple weeks ago, So Well, who specializes in Himalayan salt products reached out to me. I received a free product in exchange for writing this review. (I’ll also receive compensation if you decide to buy a salt lamp through a link in this post.)

As I was researching the benefits of salt lamps, I found that they:

• Release negative ions into the air which can reduce anxious feelings and promote a peaceful environment for sleep [1]. Anxiety and sleep are probably the 2 top concerns that parents ask me about. It’s always better when our kids are sleeping, right?
• Boost serotonin levels [2]. This is your happiness chemical [3]. And who doesn’t need more happy in their life?
• Minimize the effects of electromagnetic radiation or electrosmog which is released from electronics [4]. I’ll speak for myself, but as much as I’d like to minimize screens around the house, they are kind of inevitable. I mean, how can my kid learn mindfulness and meditation without his Breathe Kids or Headspace app? I’m certainly not going to spend 10 minutes speaking to him in soothing Australian tones when there’s an app for that!
• Purify the air of nastiness. Things like mold, bacteria, and other allergens. The idea is that the salt attracts water from the air. Water which is carrying all the nasties. Then the water re-evaporates into the air because of the heat from the bulb in the lamp leaving behind everything it was carrying [5]. The pollen count is about to get very high, so having a salt lamp running can only help, and it definitely won’t hurt.
• Calm mood and increase focus through their soft amber glow [6]. The soft amber glow is also great for combating the blue light from electronics that can disrupt sleep [7]. Just say, “No!” to disrupted sleep!

Seriously, what’s not to love about salt lamps?

Of course, I was the shotgun customer who just bought on appearance and ended up with a white LED lamp. That just means that my bulbs won’t heat my lamp for that negative ion release and it’s missing that calming amber glow. On the plus side, it’s super cute, and it’s close enough to my over-heating laptop that I’m sure that the water that condenses on my lamp is in fact evaporating.

[bctt tweet=”Better sleep, decreased anxiety… what’s not to love about salt lamps? #pblogger ” username=”macorkum”]

So, now what?

1. Gain buy-in (if your child is able). Skip to Step 2 if this step doesn’t apply. Start with a question where the answer you want is actually, “No.” For example, “Do you want to keep feeling anxious?” Then ask, “What impact would feeling more calm have on your life?” Keep asking, “What else?” until you have a pretty comprehensive list. Lastly, go in for the kill. “If I put a salt lamp in your room that will help you feel calmer, would you be open to that?” Be respectful of a, “No.” Just respond, “No problem. If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me. I’m always happy to get one for you.” Go to Step 2 anyway because now you want one. And if you can decrease your stress, everyone in the family will win.
2. Head to SoWell and see what promotions are going on and browse their collection of Himalayan Salt Lamps. I appreciate their commitment to fair trade and quality. Our kids with special needs are even less resilient to toxic load, so what we introduce to their environment matters.
3. If you have a teenager who is glue to a computer, try to place the lamp close to where he sits. If you have toddlers, place it somewhere out of reach. Basically, know your child and choose a wise place for this new lamp accordingly.
4. Keep it on as often as possible [8].

For answers to all the questions you have that I haven’t answered, click here to visit the SoWell FAQs page.

Do you use Himalayan salt lamps in your home? What do you think?

Our list of “things” (outside of the basic principles of trust-based parenting) has included diet, mindfulness, massage, oils, supplements, and medication.

Do you want to know the problem with using essential oils for challenging kids?

Just because you want them to work so bad, they will want NOTHING to do with them.

Do you want to know the secret about kids from hard places?

Their needs are complex and there’s no magic fix.

Tatoo it to your forehead. “There’s NO MAGIC FIX.”

Just because you want to try it, they will probably dig their feet in and hate it. Just because. And honestly, getting into a control battle with a kid to do something…even if it’s their magic fix…automatically makes it NOT the magic fix.

[bctt tweet=”There’s NO MAGIC FIX. #remindersformyself #parenting” username=”macorkum”]

P.S. I’m preaching this to myself because I’m the control queen and the queen of burning relationship bridges with my kids because I am trying to force a fix. Learn from my mistakes. Don’t be me.

However, despite the fact that oils weren’t the magic fix I was looking for, they were a magic fix for somebody else…me.

When I’d be chasing the kids around with a balancing blend, I realized, I wanted to smell it. I could feel the oils calming me down and helping me to access my other coping tools.

BONUS: Click HERE for an entire e-book on the science behind why oils work to manage our emotions. It’s really NOT all in your head…or is it?

I’ve said it before, and it’s worth saying again. “I cannot change my child, but I can change me…”

[bctt tweet=”I cannot change my child, but I can change me… #adoption” username=”macorkum”]

We can only control ourselves.

And while that seems anti-climactic, research on mirror neurons tell us that if we’re calm, our kids can calm by mirroring the calm in us.

What would happen if we had more tools as tired mamas to energize us, calm us, and literally manage our emotions from the inside out?

1. Less frustration.
2. More organization.
3. Less overwhelm.
4. More empowerment.
5. More connection.

My favorite way to have oils at my disposal all day long is diffuser jewelry. Essential Charms recently sent me a diffuser bracelet to review.

The “Ancient Agate” diffuser bracelet is handmade with premium, semi-precious 12mm Decorative Pattern Agate stones, 3 beige lava stones and a custom stainless steel cube.

Agate is known for its slow and steady healing properties and is said to bring harmony and balance to body, mind and spirit. Like lava stone, it has a grounding energy and will bring you strength and stability in times of need.

I asked for the small size and was pleasantly surprised when it actually fit my tiny wrists!

FAQs

How do I use diffuser jewelry with essential oils?

Just add a drop or two of your favorite oil to the porous lava beads. Give it a couple minutes to soak in so the oil won’t rub off of the beads and leave a mark on your sleeve. If that happens, just use this nifty stain roller and it will come right out.

Which oils do you recommend?

I recommend using the emotional aromatherapy wheel to choose your blend. We use the oils from doTERRA’s emotional aromatherapy kit everyday. If you’d like to know more about why I love these specific oils for weary mamas, contact me. I’d love to chat more. Just contact me.

How long will the aroma last?

Depending on the oil a couple hours to a full day.

Can I use a different oil each day?

Yes! You can use a different oil each time you add oils to your bracelet.

Where can I buy diffuser jewelry?

Essential Charms has kindly offered a discount for you awesome mamas. Just use the code CORK15 at check out for 15% your purchase. Essential Charms offers a wide variety of precious stone bracelets and diffuser charms for necklaces.

I’m parenting a challenging child a feel hopeless. What else can I do?

Join my FB parenting support group called Essentially Connected Parenting. My goal is to help you find hope again!

I received a free product in exchange for this post. However, I was using diffuser jewelry long before receiving a freebie and would still recommend it even without compensation. This post also contains affiliate links and I may be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.