Have you heard of re-dos, compromises, and delayed or conditional “Yesses”?

Re-dos gives our children chances to try again with a better response. Giving them these opportunities helps create a new neural pathway in their brain. If we think about our kids’ responses as ruts in a dirt road, re-dos start creating a new rut. With each re-do, the undesirable response rut gets shallower and shallower and the appropriate response rut gets deeper and deeper. Remember that kids need to be regulated to do a proper re-do. Forcing a re-do once a tantrum is already underway will make you flip your lid too!

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Compromises are a tool we give to our kids to give them some shared control. They are a more appropriate response to throwing a tantrum. When we ask them to do something, they may ask for a compromise to do it later or to have help doing it.

A delayed “Yes” is when instead of saying “No,” we say something like, “Ice cream sounds like a great idea! Let’s put it on the calendar for tomorrow!” A conditional “Yes” is when we say something like, “I’d love to get you an ice cream after you finish your veggies.”

Find a time to use one of these strategies today and report back how it went in our private Facebook support group. Click here to join.

Remember, you’re a great parent, doing important work. Keep it up!