I want you to know that you’re not a bad mom if you don’t get down on the floor and pretend play with your kids.

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There are actually six play personalities defined by Stuart Brown who wrote Play: How it Shapes the brain, opens the imagination, and invigorates the soul.*

The Joker

This person enjoys nonsense and making others laugh. He is often the class clown. Children who are jokers will respond well to playful engagement.

Activity to try: laughing

The Kinesthete

A kinesthete feel the happiest when he is moving. He may also need to move to learn.

Activity to try: playing sports

The Explorer

Whether it be physical, emotional, or mental, an explorer thrives on new experiences. Try engaging all of the senses when guiding an explorer.

Activity to try: going on trips, reading books, collecting

The Competitor

This play personality never does anything “just for fun.” She is out to win and can turn anything into a competition. Gamifying tasks works well for this play personality.

Activity to try: playing board games

The Artist/Creator

The artist/creator’s goal is to make something beautiful–either from scratch or as a restoration. Provide a steady stream of materials for projects to keep the artist/creator busy.

Activity to try: exploring crafts, collecting

The Storyteller

No matter what a storyteller is doing, she uses imagination to increase enjoyment. Learning through stories and parables will keep education fun for a storyteller.

Activity to try: reading and writing stories, imaginative play

Which one or two do you most resonate with? Which one or two do you think your kids most resonate with?

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Try doing one of these activities at the same time every day so it becomes part of your routine. Give your child some control to cut down on defiance. Try offering 2 choices of activities instead of choosing the activity yourself.

While some children may need these activities as an alternative to snuggles, they will benefit all children.

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Hide and Seek

Verbalize scripts such as “I love you and will always find you,” or “You’ll always be able to find me.” If your child can tolerate it, give him a great, big squeeze hug whenever you find one another. If not, try for a high five!

Role Playing

Whether you’re using blocks, cars, dolls, or dressing up yourself, the imagination is a much safer place to work out some of life’s bigger problems. When pretending to be someone else, kids can create new motor memories for good behavior without feeling shame. It’s also fun to reverse who is the parent and who is the child so they get a dose of their own medicine. It’s also a painfully honest critique of how you’re doing as a parent.

Dress up or Salon

Let your child dress you up or style your hair. It’s a situation that gives felt control but also promotes bonding.

Superman or Airplane

For smaller kids, flying them on your feet while you are lying on your back is great fun. It meets the needs of a lot of sensory kids and promotes eye contact.

Staring Contest

 This is a perfect way to sneak in eye contact. The competitive nature of kids usually overwhelms their aversion for connection. This is a great one for older kids.

Telephone

This game promotes voice regulation and requires players to get physically close to each other in a non-threatening way. Plus the laughter telephone produces is good medicine for the soul.

Simon Says

This game is great for listening practice. It also exercises impulse control.

Mother May I?

Kids get practice asking respectful questions and parents get practice saying joyful “Yesses.” Win-win!

Mirror

Take turns leading. The follower mirrors the other person’s movements. This is great practice for kids with motor dyspraxia. Plus, it creates the building blocks for attunement.

Recommended Books

Creative Arts and Play Therapy for Attachment Problems by Machiodi

Attachment Play: How to solve children’s behavior problems with play, laughter, and connection by Solter

Theraplay: Helping Parents and Children Build Better Relationships Through Attachment-Based Play by Booth

I Love You Rituals by Bailey

Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul by Brown

*The links above are affiliate links. By purchasing books through these links, I may receive a small commission which keeps the blog going. Thanks!