It was about reconciliation. He talked about how reconciliation comes at cost. The cost is great (especially to our pride) but we can choose to focus on what we gain when we allow reconciliation to occur even if we’ve been hurt (or will continue to be hurt). If we focus on the un-moving truths that we are validated because of who we are in Christ (not by how our kids behave in public or even treat us and each other), we can slough off the rough and delight in the sweet moments.
Our family is really struggling with one of our kids who is constantly trying to sabotage the relationships in our family. In order to continue being the therapeutic family that this child needs, we need to choose the painful, costly decision to lay our woundedness at the foot of the cross and continue to offer our child relationship and reconciliation–over and over, every minute. Instead of wallowing in a puddle of self-pity, licking our wounds, and letting resentment breed, we need to choose to delight in any interaction or view of character that is positive.
Every hour, I need to remind myself, and our other children, of God’s truths so we can remain anchored despite the torrents of emotional abuse that are cast over our household every time we engage this particular child.
God loves us, AND he loves that child.
God called our family to this journey, and he will not leave us.
God can heal the brokenness.
We are great parents. You are amazing siblings.
We ARE a family. You ARE a sister and a brother. No matter what is being said to you.
We are caring, kind, merciful, forgiving, and great friends. Other people DO want to be with us.
If God is for us (and he is), trauma will not defeat us.
Lies may be the loudest voice you hear every day, but their volume and consistency does not make them true.
Additionally, we can’t let the crisis our family is in isolate us. We need other champions in our life speaking truths louder than the lies we are hearing at home. Just like so many pack animals in the world, we are much more vulnerable in isolation.
If you are a family with a kid (or kids) from a hard place, and you need a voice in your life to rival the venom that is the mark of a fearful and traumatized child, leave me a comment. I’d love to walk this journey with you and be a voice of truth for you.
What are the truths that you need to declare over your family every hour?
