The hardest part of this waiting game is the ups and downs, the starts and stops. At first, we were told Ty could be home as early as December…then February…the we were sure over spring break…now it’s mid-April and there’s still no guarantees. The last year would have looked a lot different if we had known it would take this long to get him home. Everytime we thought his homecoming was imminent, we would start preparing—bunk beds for PJ and Mia at Christmas, borrowing Korean language materials from the library, researching airline fees, sorting through 18 month winter clothes and then 2T summer clothes, changing out car seats…the list goes on. Each time our timeline lengthened, I would stop all preparations. Maybe it was discouragement. Maybe it was self-preservation. Either way, it was easier to weather the wait when I wasn’t thinking about him. Besides, all the other things on my day-to-day To Do list seemed so much more important than preparing for a son that probably wouldn’t come home in the near future. If we would have known all along that our wait would be over a year, I can almost guarantee that we would not be nearly as prepared as we are now. After all, if it wasn’t for the ‘last minute,’ nothing would ever get done. And I haven’t really prepared except when I thought it was the ‘last minute.’ Even now, I am feeling a little lot underprepared. For some reason, I can’t seem to find the happy medium. I would like to be prepared but preparing seems to put me in this hyperanticipatory state that sends me into an emotional tailspin each time the wait gets longer.
During this process of hurrying up to wait, the following verses kept popping into my mind.
Matthew 24 (NAS)
42″Therefore be on the alert, for you do not know which day your Lord is coming.
43″But be sure of this, that if the head of the house had known at what time of the night the thief was coming, he would have been on the alert and would not have allowed his house to be broken into.
44″For this reason you also must be ready; for the Son of Man is coming at an hour when you do not think He will.”
Mmmmm…good food for thought.
There is a wonderful child at the end of all this, so keep looking up and trusting in the Lord, leaning not on your own understanding! His timing is perfect! Have your jar full of oil and be ready! Watch and pray! God sees and He knows the plans that He has for you and for little Ty, too!
xo – mom