Let’s talk about walking on eggshells around your explosive child.
Last week, I asked in our FB community, “How do you keep from walking on eggshells around your kids?”
One mom said, “Are we not meant to?”
A bunch of other parents commented that they were following for suggestions, but didn’t have any of their own.
First, let me address why walking on eggshells is problematic. When our nervous systems are hypervigilant (aka. walking on eggshells), it can trigger or escalate our kids thanks to mirror neurons. It turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts.
So the key to not walking on eggshells is about learning to manage our own nervous system.The key to not walking on eggshells is about learning to manage our own nervous system. Click To Tweet
This may seem overwhelming at first, but it’s in the little proactive things. I’ve recently found a trifecta of resetting my nervous system in three minutes.
- I listen to the Balance pathway of the Safe and Sound Protocol which is specially filtered music meant to ground the nervous system.
- While I’m listening, I also do three minutes of mindful breathing. Four seconds in, four seconds hold, four seconds out, four seconds hold.
- During the inhale I’m breathing in a drop of Adaptiv essential oil blend from my palms. This blend is specially formulated to balance brain chemistry.
I actually do this practice every morning, ideally before my most challenging child gets up. Even if I don’t have the opportunity to do this practice “in the moment,” the daily ritual is still making a difference in my resilience to challenging behaviors.
Besides knowing what cues your nervous system to safety, I also recommend having a plan for handling your child’s most common challenging behaviors. Just having a plan increases your confidence which allows your nervous system to settle and stop walking on eggshells.
Here are some related resources if you need additional help to stop walking on eggshells: