“Minor, correctable special needs.” Most of us would agree that most kids with cleft palate, small holes in the heart, club feet, and other minor, correctable special needs are really not “special needs” at all. Holt International offers a China program specifically for these children that allows families to bring home children home in less...
Category: Things Adoptive Parents Should Know
{#24} Status Quo
As we enter Mother’s Day season, it seemed like a good time to mention that adoption challenges the status quo. A seemingly simple holiday becomes riddled with questions: Is my birthmother thinking about me? Should we do something to recognize or remember our child’s birthmother? This is particularly worth thinking through if you have an open...
{#23} Celebration
With Ty reaching his 2 year home mark this week, I thought the subject of adoption celebrations would be an appropriate for this week. Adoption celebrations. To do or not to do. That is the question. Actually the bigger question is probably what to call them. While most families do celebrate the arrival of their...
{#22} Alternatives
Maybe your spouse isn’t on board…yet. Maybe your kids are too little. Maybe you can’t afford it. Maybe you’re overwhelmed by the process. There are many reasons families are not ready to dive into the adoption process even if they want to. The good news is that there are a conglomeration of other ways to...
{#21} Bumps in the road
The adoption journey (specifically the journey of bringing your child home) will be full of bumps, delays, and uncertainties. So be prepared. Does that mean adoption isn’t worth it? NO. Jesus persevered through quite a few “bumps” to get us into His family. Are the bumps fair? NO. But then neither is life in general…at...
{#20} Transparency
A couple weeks ago, I wrote about breaking down walls within the adoption community. This week I want to challenge adoptive families to evaluate the walls between them and the rest of the world. An adoptive mom recently posted the following in a transracial adoptive family forum: I had a conversation with a friend recently...
{#19} Attachment is a two-way street
Two hot words in the adoption community: attachment and bonding. There are probably as many differing definitions for each of these as there are licensed psychologists. For our purposes, let’s say bonding is the continuous cycle of a parent meeting the needs of a child in order to build trust. Attachment is the emotional bond...
{#18} Unity
One of Grafted Families’ first outreaches was an Adoptive/Foster Mom’s Night Out. We advertised to the community and invited anyone who was an adoptive or foster mom or who thought she might want to be. It’s a pretty informal night with a pretty open invitation. I was stunned when I received phone calls from moms...