When we’re parenting kids with crazy challenging behaviors, it’s easy to become a mom we don’t recognize anymore. We start drowning in negativity. We want to be better moms but don’t know how.

I hardly ever raised my voice until I was parenting children with ADHD and complex trauma. Then, I became a screaming lunatic. I found myself in this place where I didn’t like my hard kids any more which, of course, made me feel worse. I had no idea that my nervous system was falling into Blocked Care. This a subconscious self-protective mechanism that happens when we’re parenting hard kids.

Overcome by mom guilt? Here are 7 really simple things you can do to be a better mom. #parenting Click To Tweet

Here are 7 simple things you can add to your life that don’t cost money or take too much time but can have a big impact on how you feel as a mom.

1. Practice Gratitude About Your Life and Your Child.

Set a reminder to list 3 things each day. These can also be any wins from the day. Nothing is too small. I do mine in the morning but you can also do it before falling into bed each day.
Recommended app: Gratitude
Recommended journal: Some Lines A Day*

2. Practice Mindfulness.

Research shows that 10 minutes of mindfulness every day can lessen the possibility we’ll say or do something we’ll regret.[1] I only get in about 2 minutes 5 days a week, but it’s still helpful.
Recommended app: The breathing bubble feature in the Stop, Breath, Think app.

3. Give Positive Touch.

Find a time each day to give your child a positive touch. Even a high five and smile will do. If you’re feeling ambitious, try a hand massage.

4. Impart a Positive Word.

Find a time each day to say something positive to your child. Their behavior often gets us in a downward spiral of negativity. Throwing out a positive comment can drastically change the mood. Try to NOT make it about their behavior, but something you like about them as a person.

5. Laugh.

Laughter is good medicine for the soul. Hop on YouTube and watch a comedy routine or re-runs of America’s Funniest Home Videos. Bonus points if you get your kids laughing, too.

6. Create a Positive Bedtime Ritual.

No matter how bad the day is, end on a positive note. For me, I tell my son, “God made you special, and he loves you very much.” Then, we high five. I can say this even when I’m mad at him because I truly believe it. Also notice, this bedtime ritual actually checks off two of the other things. I’m hitting 3 birds with one stone in less than 30 seconds. Don’t make these things harder than they need to be!

7. Redefine Success.

Don’t feel guilty because you lost your cool or because the school called…again. Choose to define success by YOUR actions. Make yourself a sticker chart and strive to do just 3 of these things daily. If that’s your definition of success, the rest doesn’t matter. Pat yourself on the back each night and wake up each day knowing you can be successful.