Fill in the blank:
Adoption is a _________.
a. grief-filled tragedy.
b. beautiful miracle.
If you are asking, where is c. All of the above, we are on the same page.
Too many times, I witness (or am part of) the debate between answers a and b. There are birth mothers who feel they were manipulated to give up their babies and disgruntled adult adoptees who are passionately against the promotion of adoption and removal of children from their birth cultures on one side. The other side holds thousands of families who may not have had children in their homes if it weren’t for adoption.
I’m here to say I firmly believe that every adoption is BOTH. Every time a family is made through adoption, another family is broken. Every adoptee loses much and gains much.
The grief felt by some parts of the adoption mosaic does not make the joy felt by other parts wrong or insensitive just like the joy does not belittle the grief.
The tragic reality of adoption does not de-necessitate adoption as a solution and the aching arms of capable parents should not overshadow the need to aid ill-equipped ones.
I’ll admit some adoption stories seem to lean toward one emotion or the other but that doesn’t mean they both don’t exist.
If I had to fill in the blank, it would be adoption is a dichotomy. Now let’s get on with it and go heal some hurting kids.