More often than not, adoption homecomings come at the end of a lot of agonizing red tape and waiting. Sometimes they mark the end of an infertility journey as well. Who wouldn’t want to celebrate such a joyous occasion?
However, imagine yourself as an infant who emerged into the world only to find you couldn’t find the sound of that voice you enjoyed so much in the womb. Then imagine, just as you were getting settled, your primary caregiver changed again and brought you home to loud noises, lots of people, and bright flashes.
Or imagine leaving the only family and country you’ve ever known, getting on a plane for 15 to 22 hours, and arriving to a huge house full of strange smelling and looking people who keep trying to touch you and talk to you.
More and more research on attachment, bonding, and trauma is showing that the first few months home should be as quiet and simple as possible in order to give children the best chance to process their new placement and begin forming healthy attachment patterns with their new family. Infants form deep bonds by being cared for by one or two consistent primary caregivers. For older children, this is also true if they were primarily living in institutions with ever changing caregivers. Adopted children also have a high incidence of sensory processing disorder and homecoming parties can set them up for poor behavior due to feeling extremely overwhelmed. High volumes of visitors in and out can also disrupt the routine which can be essential to a smoother transition.
I’ll admit, this is shameless self promotion, but a great solution can be hiring a photographer or videographer to spend some time with your family to produce a media product that can virtually introduce your child to your well-wishing friends and family. Make sure you find someone who can work with minimal equipment and no flash for minimal disruption in your house. Lifestyle photographers make great choices because they can capture images as you are without the pressure to perform and pose.
What other ways has your family found to protect your children at their homecoming while still celebrating with family?