How to Change the Way Your Child Reacts to Not Getting Their Way

When you ask your child to do something he doesn’t want to do or tell him “NO,” what happens?
Before we had these tools, our kids go-to was talking back or throwing a tantrum or worse!

ADHD, parenting, adoption, foster care

Have you heard of re-dos, compromises, and delayed or conditional “Yesses”?

Re-dos gives our children chances to try again with a better response. Giving them these opportunities helps create a new neural pathway in their brain. If we think about our kids’ responses as ruts in a dirt road, re-dos start creating a new rut. With each re-do, the undesirable response rut gets shallower and shallower and the appropriate response rut gets deeper and deeper. Remember that kids need to be regulated to do a proper re-do. Forcing a re-do once a tantrum is already underway will make you flip your lid too!

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Compromises are a tool we give to our kids to give them some shared control. They are a more appropriate response to throwing a tantrum. When we ask them to do something, they may ask for a compromise to do it later or to have help doing it.

A delayed “Yes” is when instead of saying “No,” we say something like, “Ice cream sounds like a great idea! Let’s put it on the calendar for tomorrow!” A conditional “Yes” is when we say something like, “I’d love to get you an ice cream after you finish your veggies.”

Find a time to use one of these strategies today and report back how it went in our private Facebook support group. Click here to join.

Remember, you’re a great parent, doing important work. Keep it up!

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