Start Early

Being one of the first in my circle of friends to have kids, I get solicited for parenting advice.  Not necessarily because I have flawless kids (have you met Ty?), perfect parenting technique or an early childhood degree but because I’ve been there.  I also have a big mouth that is more than willing to interject my opinion (especially when it comes to parenting) at the slightest invitation.

I’ve found there’s a common thread in my childrearing philosophy…start early.

Here are some examples:

You travel a lot with your kids.  Any advice?
Start early.  Our kids started travelling (4-6 hour car rides) at age 2-4 weeks.  We travel frequently, and they don’t know any other way.  Sure they ask “Are we there yet?” from time to time but generally they are good sports about it.

How did you potty train your kids?
First, you should know that I define potty trained as being able to wear underwear during the day.  For my kids (all three) that meant when they could tell me they needed to poop and could hold their bladder for at least an hour.  The older two were out of diapers by 2 1/2 but it took about a year before I didn’t have to remind them to go pee every so often. 
So back to the advice.  Start early before your child hits “terrible twos” and has an opinion about the potty.  We started at around 18 months with storytime on the potty after dinner.  We reserved the favorite book for potty time.  If he peed during that time, it was great and we made a big deal about it.  If not, we moved on with the rest of the bedtime routine.  For us, the key is getting the kids to be able to pee-on-demand.

You’re doing what with your kids!?!? My kids would never sit still at a restaurant.
We did not adjust our life much when our kids came.  Mostly we kept doing what we loved and made small adjustments so we could do it with our kids.  They don’t eat out at 5 stars or anything but they all know (or are learning) how to look at a server in the eye and politely order their meal and how to behave when eating in public.  We try to stick to places with timely service, kids menus with crayons, and already noisy atmospheres.  I keep a couple tricks in the backpack as well…McDonalds toys, extra paper and crayons, etc.

I love how helpful your kids are. 
They have their good and bad moments but generally they are excited to help.  It may be a personality thing but it also might be because we have always made helping seem like a privilege instead of a chore from an early age.  I think it’s a reverse psychology thing.  They start asking if they can help do whatever I’m doing (dusting, emptying the dishwashing, vacuuming, mopping, etc.) and I pretend they’re too young.  Then “give in” telling them they have to follow directions to keep their cleaning privilege.  Having cool gadgets for cleaning helps too.

Would you come to my house and teach my 16 year old how to like sushi?
Ummmm…no.  My kids like vegetable rolls because it’s been part of their diet since they could chew (and we dip in a lot of soy sauce).  Generally speaking, the earlier you introduce a variety of food (age-appropriate, of course) the more likely you’ll raise a child who likes a variety and is more willing to try new stuff.  This has not been as true for our oldest (but he still eats sushi).  I also am not in the habit of cooking separate “kid meals” at our house.  I’ve been known to make some adjustments for the kids (like turning baked potatoes into Irish Nachos or chili into loaded nachos) but not completely separate meals.

I can’t believe how well behaved your children were in church this morning.  My kids could never do that.
I beg to differ.  Again, have you met Ty?  Anyway, we decided when PJ was little that Sunday morning worship was going to be a family activity.  It is important to us that the kids see us worshipping and see it as a family activity.  Sitting through church is the only thing they’ve ever known.  Just a note–we’re not necessarily against Sunday School and have used it when there was a Bible Study during another service we wanted to attend.  Does it take effort? Yup.  Are they distracting sometimes? Yup.  But overall they do a great job and I believe it’s because we started early.

I’m sure I could think of more examples but you get the idea.  Anything you started early?