We did not have an attachment plan but maybe we should have. I won’t lie. The cocooning part of attachment plans makes me want to shrivel up and die. I think the 3 kids (who are all extroverts) might have shrivelled up during an extended cocooning time as well. However, I think there is validity to them. You really have to understand why it can be important and understand your child.
The other parts of attachement planning such as deciding on how long dad and mom will be sole caretakers are also individualized decisions. I am a firm believer in dad and mom being the sole caretakers for as long as possible. For older children, in hindsight, I think bonding games are crucial, too. We’re actually backtracking with Ty as we notice things like he can’t look anyone in the eye for longer than 5 seconds. It’s funny. I can’t either and I remember adults calling me out on it when I was growing up.
If you read other families’ attachment plans and think them a little over the top, remember that they are largely trying to redeeme many lost years, days, and hours that we who have bio kids take for granted. Research shows that all those hours of making eye contact parents do with infants that is really second nature actually facilitates the creation of thousands (if not millions) of nerve synapse connections in the brain. Many adopted kids have severe deficits in these connections. The good news is that they can still be created with proper healing, love, and therapy of which attachment plans provide.