Christmas Ornaments for Foster and Adopted Children

Between the breaks in routine, extra sweets, and high anticipation, the holiday season is full of triggers for kids with a history of adverse experiences. I noticed after our first Christmas with our older kids, that tree trimming was a huge trigger because it emphasized all the years they’d missed with us as our younger […]

Horses versus Zebras

Are you sick of giving choices and compromises and feeling like your life revolves around your challenging child? Are you wondering when healing will ever come and feeling weary? Me too. Sometimes I think, “We’ve been over this 1,000,000 times. When will it sink in?” I feel like “connected parenting” promised me healing, but there […]

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Tips for Parenting Manipulative and Controlling Behaviors

There are few things more frustrating than when you’re battling your child for control. Kids with a history of adverse experiences have a strange sixth sense that allows them to know exactly how to push your buttons through manipulative and controlling behaviors. Whether it’s losing a primary caregiver either through death or abandonment, having to […]

How to Create Stability in Your Home

If you’re dealing with multiple challenging behaviors that happen over and over and over again, you’re not alone. When parents reach out to me, this is a common theme. It’s not so much just the lying or stealing or whatever, it’s the fact that no matter what you try as a parent, it keeps happening. […]

10 Disastrous Mistakes Parents Make in Older Child Adoption

10 Disastrous Mistakes Parents Make in Older Child Adoption

We had adopted before. We had therapeutic parent training. We love teenagers. Surely, we would rock at older child adoption. Maybe you weren’t nearly as optimistic and naive as us, but chances are that there is a disconnect between your expectations and what you are experiencing. Maybe you are prepping for an older child adoption, […]

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3 Things Every Parent Should Know About Their Child’s Brain

A lot of parents struggle when raising kids with ongoing challenging behaviors. They want what’s best for their children and have searched high and low for answers. Instead, they have a handful of diagnoses and little hope for the future. Besides feeling exhausted, they also feel like they failed their child. I’ve been there. Our […]

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How to Stay Connected to Kids Not Living at Home

Maybe your kids are young adults and finding their way in the world. Maybe you have a child who needed an out-of-home placement. You may have left off on good terms or maybe you’re both hurt and angry. We’ve actually had all of that happen with all the feels that go with it. No matter […]

older child adoption

More Lessons in Older Child Adoption

I’ve been chatting with a lot of moms who are a sort of crossroads with their older adopted child. There is hurt, resentment, and bewilderment from both sides. The kids are rejecting their family in as many ways possible. The parents are wondering where they went wrong. We’ve been there. In October 2015, we were […]