Because November is National Adoption Month, I’d be remiss in not blogging about it or at least giving an update on Ty (and our current adoption process).
On paper, Ty’s almost 5.
There’s one camp that see him as 5 and expect him to act that way. They lay out how he should be acting based on his age, find the things he can’t do, and have him practice doing them until he gets them. I used to fall in that camp. I guess, on some days, I still do. It was (and is) driving the Type A in me crazy. Mostly because it’s a road that does not seem to produce progress…just the feeling of needing to bang your head against a wall.
Honestly, it’s an easy camp in which to set up a tent. Because Ty is in speech therapy, CC, and preschool with kids his age, it’s easy to compare their skills.
The other camp consistently makes excuses for him because he’s not just “all boy” but he’s a micro-preemie and was adopted only 2 1/2 years ago. That camp thinks he’s adorable and will eventually just catch up.
That camp seems a little too much like a pity party to me and is all fine and well unless you have to live with him everyday. Additonally, in some ways, we’ve been expecting him to just catch up for 2 1/2 years now, and, frankly, it’s not working for me.
I’m pretty sure sanity and reality are some camp in between. I never in a million years thought we’d still be struggling to “figure him out” after 2 1/2 years home. On the plus side, he has come a long way, and I’ve learned more about reactive attachment disorder, parenting an explosive child, ADHD, sensory integration disorder, and early childhood development than I ever dreamed of. Honestly, I’d never heard of some of those things before Ty.
I’m still processing all the ideas that you were kind enough to share after this post, but I’m hoping to have something that makes sense to share soon.
But for now, I leave you with this: Focus on the best way to meet your child’s developmental needs where he is and think not of his biological age.
I’m off to tape my own advice on my dashboard, bathroom mirror, computer desk, and wherever else I frequently find myself.
Oops, almost forgot an adoption update. Our home study is finished! That’s high on our Thanksgiving list this year for sure. We’re hoping to have our dossier on its way to Ethiopia by Christmas. Stay tuned…