We just returned from almost a week on the road. We’re trying to find our groove again now that we’re back and CC is over. I have a lot floating around in my head but not enough energy to create meaningful posts, so I thought I’d give you a turn. For the next couple days, I’ll collect all the questions you’ve ever wanted to ask an adult adoptee, adoptive parent, and/or family who has adopted older children out of birth order. Next week, you’ll get raw and honest answers.
Ready, set, go!
To read the answers to the questions below, click here.
I would love to known some tips for getting your young children ready for the adoption of an older child. We adopted Taylor through domestic infant adoption 4 years ago, she is 4. Now in 1 month we will be bringing home Ruth who is 7 from Haiti(well we leave on May 29 for the first 2-4 day trip and the 2nd one when we bring her home is scheduled for June 29)
How do you spend your time before your adopted kids are fluent in English? It seems like I could handle that for a couple hours a day, but all the time would be very taxing.
Our son is almost 5 and in thinking about adopting again, it seems likely that another child would be older. Our social worker cautioned us against adopting out of “birth” order. I’d love to hear of your experience and opinion.
Hi Melissa, I have been trying really hard to use the connected child principles with our new kids. I have also been watching the videos but have only gone through a handful. I am personally having bonding issues with my children which often creates a bad cycle of misbehavior for my kids and anger for me. Anyway, I have been trying to do “level of responses” (1) Whoa Nellie, do you want to try it again with respect? 2) two choices 3) think it over spot. One of my issues our 7 year old daughter throws a fit. To keep her with me when I am trying to teach school does not work. However, leaving her up in her room is not recommended. Should I stop everthing with my other kids and focus on her? Most of the time she seems to be trying to get attention. The other question is what do we do with willfull disobedience. When they hear and understand you but they choose to disobey (often with no remorse)? Are their other consequences that are recommended? We are also having trouble with lying and I am not sure what consequences I should give for that. It seems like the 3 level of responses do not work but I suppose it takes time. I guess that was 3 questions:) I understand why you become a trainer. I need to study this to understand it.
We are adopting out of birth order, 2 older kids from Latvia. We have 2 other children (who also were adopted (but as infant & toddler). Did you wait a few months after the older kids were home before you officially started homeschooling and just use that first few months for attachment building and language immersion? Ours will be 9 & 10 when they get home (hopefully).
We adopted three children – totally out of order. The youngest first, the middle in the middle and the oldest most recently. The oldest and the youngest are (for right now) about the same age emotionally – and most of our struggles between them are a result of the “alpha/oldest/knows the most issue. What to do???