Dearest Valued Village,
We immensely appreciate your compassion for our big kids over the past year. Really. And while compassion is still certainly in order, let’s not confuse compassion for pity. Compassion will keep your challenges to them kind while pity will allow them to take advantage of you.
Consider this written notice that the pity party is over. You have our expressed permission to expect our kids to act their ages. In fact, consider this a written request. We’d actually like to take this role* off of our plates so that we can better focus on other things like providing “felt” love and security.
*The role of making sure our kids are ready for real-world expectations and responsibility.
Yes, we know that the role we are asking you to assume is love. It’s just they don’t see it that way. That’s the beauty of you–the village. You can stand in the gap, do a hard thing, and still be loved because you’re not us. Now that’s what I’m talking about. I know this may be scary, but YOU CAN DO IT! Seriously, we trust you, and, better, we won’t hold you liable for the outcome.
Compensation for such risky business, you ask? We will gladly be your village for your kids. Just say (or write) the word.
Love,
Patrick and Melissa
Woah, I love the way you spell out what the tribe can do. THEY play this role, while YOU play this role. Well said.
Hope,
Glad it makes sense to you and still rings true. I wrote this pretty early on in our journey 🙂
Deal!
Excellent!