More often than not, adoptive parents are threatened by their child’s birthparents. Maybe their afraid the birthparents will try to “get the child back” or are afraid that a child with forsake a relationship with his adoptive parents for a relationship with his birthparents. Maybe they don’t approve of the influence birthparents might have on […]

When someone has a biological baby, we all know the etiquette on showers, meals, and hospital visits. Conveniently a pregnant woman carries around a physical reminder to remind us to throw a shower, plan a meal, and ask how she’s feeling and when she’s due. Adoption etiquette is a whole different ball game.  The invisibility […]

Our kids are not our own. At least, I’m speaking from the perspective of Patrick and I.  They, like everything else that’s “ours,” are God’s first and foremost and He has graciously left them in our stewardship while they are here on earth. While this concept is really threatening to some, it’s quite comforting to […]

But tell it well. There seems to be this tendency among adoptive families to sell adoption to others.  We become used-car sales people of sorts…highlighting the highlights and ignoring the struggles.  I guess we think that if we are honest with the challenges no one would ever want to adopt. While I’m a huge proponent […]

Adoptive parents should be perpetual students of adoption issues.  Whatever training your agency did or will require is great but there is just no way that those training days will be sufficient.  Here are some reasons why: Your adoption story is unique and will require you learning things that will not be pertinent to other […]

Many adopted children come to their forever families with little more than the clothes on their backs.  Some (especially internationally adopted) children have nothing to show for the months or years leading up to their adoption.  However, they all have one precious possession. Their story.  It may have lots of unknowns and holes but it’s […]

Scenario #1: Parents A bring home Little Girl B from China at 2 years of age.  They have two biological children and are excited about providing a home to an orphan.  Little Girl B has some moderate, correctable special needs that have to be addressed as soon a she comes home.  The surgery does not […]

Fill in the blank: Adoption is a _________. a.  grief-filled tragedy. b. beautiful miracle. If you are asking, where is c. All of the above, we are on the same page. Too many times, I witness (or am part of) the debate between answers a and b.  There are birth mothers who feel they were […]