Many adopted children come to their forever families with little more than the clothes on their backs.  Some (especially internationally adopted) children have nothing to show for the months or years leading up to their adoption.  However, they all have one precious possession. Their story.  It may have lots of unknowns and holes but it’s […]

Scenario #1: Parents A bring home Little Girl B from China at 2 years of age.  They have two biological children and are excited about providing a home to an orphan.  Little Girl B has some moderate, correctable special needs that have to be addressed as soon a she comes home.  The surgery does not […]

Fill in the blank: Adoption is a _________. a.  grief-filled tragedy. b. beautiful miracle. If you are asking, where is c. All of the above, we are on the same page. Too many times, I witness (or am part of) the debate between answers a and b.  There are birth mothers who feel they were […]

It seems many adoptive parents agonize over whether to send their internationally adopted child to language and/or culture school.  Honestly, I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer, but here are some things to think about. Does your child want to?  I did about 3 years of Saturday Korean school in grade school because my best […]

Typically I think social workers are more intimidating to adoptive parents than RAID is to insects.  Why? Because the person who has the power to place a child in your house is assumed to have the power to take him away. Although meant to promote adoption, last Saturday’s FOX movie, Change of Plans, was another […]

Perspective is everything.  Adoption. The word conjurs up everything from loss to gain, from joy to grief, from fulfilling to empty, from only option to second (or next) option. Perspective is everything.  Try to maintain a balanced one. Speaking of perspective, I’d love to have yours on how the first week went.  Is there a […]

I hope I’m preaching to the choir but be upfront, honest, and open with your kids about your adoption journey and start early.   If you decide to hide it, your child will find out eventually.  Whenever he figures out, it will be much more traumatic than if you had just been honest from the beginning. When […]

In many cases, agencies are far too understaffed to provide the kind of post support that adoptive parents need.  If parenting wasn’t tricky enough, there’s always this adoption layer in the back of your mind which only complicates things. Take a friend of ours.  She has a biological son, E1, and an adopted son, E2.  […]