A couple weeks ago, I wrote about breaking down walls within the adoption community.  This week I want to challenge adoptive families to evaluate the walls between them and the rest of the world.  An adoptive mom recently posted the following in a transracial adoptive family forum: I had a conversation with a friend recently […]

Two hot words in the adoption community: attachment and bonding. There are probably as many differing definitions for each of these as there are licensed psychologists.  For our purposes, let’s say bonding is the continuous cycle of a parent meeting the needs of a child in order to build trust.  Attachment is the emotional bond […]

One of Grafted Families’ first outreaches was an Adoptive/Foster Mom’s Night Out. We advertised to the community and invited anyone who was an adoptive or foster mom or who thought she might want to be. It’s a pretty informal night with a pretty open invitation. I was stunned when I received phone calls from moms […]

More often than not, adoptive parents are threatened by their child’s birthparents. Maybe their afraid the birthparents will try to “get the child back” or are afraid that a child with forsake a relationship with his adoptive parents for a relationship with his birthparents. Maybe they don’t approve of the influence birthparents might have on […]

When someone has a biological baby, we all know the etiquette on showers, meals, and hospital visits. Conveniently a pregnant woman carries around a physical reminder to remind us to throw a shower, plan a meal, and ask how she’s feeling and when she’s due. Adoption etiquette is a whole different ball game.  The invisibility […]

Our kids are not our own. At least, I’m speaking from the perspective of Patrick and I.  They, like everything else that’s “ours,” are God’s first and foremost and He has graciously left them in our stewardship while they are here on earth. While this concept is really threatening to some, it’s quite comforting to […]

But tell it well. There seems to be this tendency among adoptive families to sell adoption to others.  We become used-car sales people of sorts…highlighting the highlights and ignoring the struggles.  I guess we think that if we are honest with the challenges no one would ever want to adopt. While I’m a huge proponent […]

Adoptive parents should be perpetual students of adoption issues.  Whatever training your agency did or will require is great but there is just no way that those training days will be sufficient.  Here are some reasons why: Your adoption story is unique and will require you learning things that will not be pertinent to other […]