Our neighborhood (like many others) has a Santa who comes via fire truck a couple days before Christmas to deliver candy canes.
MIA (whispering): Mom, I’m whispering because I don’t want PJ to hear. I know Santa isn’t real but how does he do it?
MELISSA: Do what?
MIA: Get to all the houses in one night?
MELISSA: I thought you just said he wasn’t real?
MIA: Not to deliver presents, silly. You know, on the fire truck.
MELISSA: Oh! Do you want to know how he visits all the kids on the fire truck in one night?
MIA: Yes!
MELISSA: Well, since he’s not real, anyone can dress up as him. Each neighborhood has its own fire truck and Santa.
MIA: Oh! That makes so much more sense!
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Patrick recently received a text that our USCIS application to immigrate an orphan (or orphans) had been received. The text (allowable by a special form for the PAPER REDUCTION ACT), also informed us we would get written confirmation via the mail in a couple weeks…SERIOUSLY!?!?! I thought I was opting out of that when I…never mind.
MELISSA (to know one in particular): Can someone please explain the government to me?!!?!
PJ: Nope. And I can’t explain the HOA either.
Touche!