As you read this we are on our way to Addis to meet our kids and appear in court to give our consent to their adoption into our family. There have been quite a few frequently asked questions as we’ve shared our story. So here are the frequently given answers for you to ponder until I re-appear with blog posts from overseas.
Are you crazy?!?
More than hearing this question, we usually see it in people’s eyes. We did have a close friend (in good humor) offer to take us for CAT scans.
The answer is “yes.” We are crazy.
Why teenagers?
We have always felt called to provide a family for harder to place children. When we adopted Ty, we still wanted to stick within our birth order. This time we felt called to step out in faith and be open to almost anything knowing it would probably mean older children. To be honest, we’re thrilled. Having been heavily involved with high school student ministries over the years, we (including the kids) have developed a special place in our hearts for teens. We hear the desire to hang out with teenagers at our age is rare so we’re happy to let God use us in this way.
Are you worried about whether this will affect your current children?
We are sure this will affect our children–both positively and negatively–just like the last adoption did. Taking up our cross (so-to-speak) requires great sacrifice. Unfortunately that applies to our kids as well. We don’t enjoy seeing our kids struggle with our calling but we also see it as a growing and learning experience. After all, there are a lot of things in this life that are not pleasant to experience. It’s how we handle the struggles that’s important, not avoiding them. On the flip side, we also have the privilege of watching our kids respond to hard situations with maturity, grace, and compassion beyond their years. I wouldn’t trade that for the world.
How much do you know about the kids?
See {#49} Profiles should come with grains of salt of Things Adoptive Parents Should Know.
We actually know quite a bit about the kids but we’re not sure what difference that makes. We thought knew a lot about Ty too.
Anyway, because adoptive kids have so little that they can call theirs except their story, we guard their stories pretty carefully. We want them to be able to control who knows what. After all it’s not our story to tell…it’s theirs.
Will you homeschool the children you are bringing home?
That’s the plan. I’m hoping to get a better feel for where they are in their English and other studies while we’re in Ethiopia. I’ll start planning for them upon our return. We feel like homeschooling is the best choice right now in terms of attachment and socialization and being able to provide individualized resources. Yes, that makes five to teach at home (including 2 non-English speakers and a Ty). Remember, the answer to the first question is “yes.”
Will they keep their names?
Good question. I’m dying to know the answer. We will let them choose. We’re happy to keep their names (that’s one of those precious few things they have to call their own), but understand if they would like to have more “American” names whatever those are perceived to be. Stay tuned!
Can we see pictures?
I wish! Once we pass court we can indeed share pictures.
Where will they sleep? Do you have a big house?
Although having five kids may make you think we have a big house, we don’t really. We’re super blessed and we love it but in reality it’s 3 bedrooms and 2 full baths (one of which is in the master bedroom). Therefore, there will be a boys room and a girls room. Our current three kids all share a room right now anyway so it doesn’t feel like much of a switch.
When will they come home?
I apologize because I think I have not made it clear that we will not bring them home on this trip. This is our court trip where we meet them and appear in court to give consent. Once they clear court (read: all their paperwork has arrived in court), they will need to be submitted to receive visas from the U.S. Embassy. We’re obviously hoping to pass court on our first appearance. Clearing Embassy will take at least 6 weeks based on other families right now. If we don’t pass, our agency will continue to advocate on our behalf until we do. We will not to stay in Ethiopia or reappear before the judge.
Who’s going on this trip?
We’re taking the three kids and Patrick’s father. I know. Like I said we’re crazy.
Phew…I think that about covers it for now. Any other questions?