Deep Breaths

Between the breaks in routine, extra treats, and overall excitement, the holidays are a perfect storm for elevated anxiety in our kids. Elevated anxiety can lead to more defiance and meltdowns–extra gifts we could go without. Read more here.

A Letter to our Village

Dearest Valued Village, We immensely appreciate your compassion for our big kids over the past year. Really. And while compassion is still certainly in order, let’s not confuse compassion for pity. Compassion will keep your challenges to them kind while pity will allow them to take advantage of you. Consider this written notice that the pity […]

Talk to the hand

The bag of tricks just keeps getting bigger. Today’s trick:  Get silly! (aka…grasping at straws.) This morning, Mia got to the bathroom just before Grace.  It was perceived by Grace that Mia was maliciously cutting her off. Grace: Mia, you look devil. Patrick (in a sharp tone): Grace, I don’t ever want to hear that […]

{Answers} Alpha child

You guys ask hard good questions. I’m going to answer them the best I can as things stand now.  DISCLAIMER: If you ask them again in 6 months, the answers may be different.  I’m also going to milk this Q&A thing by answering one or two questions at a time. We adopted three children – […]

May I Have Your Attention, Please

Welcome aboard vehicle <license plate number>.  I will be your captain. Our estimated time of arrival is ________. For your safety and the comfort of others, please turn off all outside voices and keep your hands securely folded in your lap at all times. This vehicle is equipped with safety belts which should be worn […]

Roads to Regulation

******UPDATE****** Sometimes super-silly as described here works as well. ********************* The key to dysregulated kids is figuring out how to re-regulate them.  So simple, right?  NOT. Here are some strategies that have worked recently with our kids: Art. As I posted before, art therapy can double as regulating and healing.  Even if your child won’t […]

Reminders to Myself

The Back Story For three years we struggled to get a handle on Ty’s behavior. Instead of growing out of his behavior, it seemed to get worse as he got older. While I had read Dr. Karyn Purvis’ The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family before Ty came home, I falsely […]